Wherever God is, He’s all about freedom. (2 Cor. 3)
As a recovering people pleaser, I know all too well what energy can be spent on things totally outside my control & responsibility while neglecting what’s directly in my power. But I now know God wants my heart to be free to worship Him instead of in bondage to useless strategies.
God is serious about His children exercising their ordained rights and responsibilities, led by the Holy Spirit, while giving others permission to do the same.
Just because I care about it doesn’t mean I’m supposed to care for it. But sometimes that can feel downright confusing! That’s why I like putting pen to paper to visually define what’s mine, what’s not, and what I can give to my all powerful God!

We are limited. But God is not! He is a good Father that we can trust with our deepest desires- especially what we have no control over.
We don’t have to scrounge for what we need because God gives us everything we need, including blessings we don’t work for! (2 Peter 1:3, Psalm 127:2). He is all knowing, all powerful, and takes care of us perfectly (Psalm 23). He’s faithful to the generations. Who better to leave our cares with than the Creator of all good things? And the best part is… He actually hears and responds to us!
Surrender & Self Control
As I grow intimate with God He teaches me surrender and self control just like in Galatians 5:22-23.
Surrender reveals God’s perfect provision and builds confidence in His protection that even our best boundaries couldn’t accomplish. It postures us to fully embrace and celebrate God’s creative movement in our lives and the lives of others as we release our expectations of the “what” and “how” to Him.
Godly self control allows our energy and creativity to be spent on what has healthy eternal impact. It protects us from making people into idols, bitterness, and confusing personal responsibility. It minimizes distraction and positions our hearts to worship God freely. (Galatians 6:4-5)
Together, surrender and self control free us to discover that Godly success is not always determined by an ultimate outcome or by another person’s response to us, but by growing intimate with God in the process.
Reflect
Identifying what’s not ours to control provides an opportunity to give our concerns back to the One who makes all things work for the good of those who love Him, which is why I love writing out the circle of control on paper. (Romans 8:28)
I like to physically throw my hands into the air as I name out loud what I am giving back to God’s trustworthy hands as an outward expression of “casting my cares” on Him. (1 Peter 5:7)
Consider drawing your own circle of control specific to you or download my PDF! Invite the Holy Spirit to bring awareness as you ponder some or all of these questions below.
- What (or who) do you feel afraid to release to God today and why do you feel afraid? Ask the Holy Spirit for peace.
- What are you striving to make happen in your own strength that is not yours to carry? Cast your cares onto God. (1 Peter 5:7)
- What desires has God planted in your heart that are outside your control? Do you believe He could have given you these desires so you might one day see them fulfilled by Him?
- How might God be active in circumstances and hearts around you that are different from what you’ve expected or envisioned?
- Success is not always measured by an ultimate outcome or by another person’s response, but in faithfully practicing obedience in what we are able to do. How could you measure success differently in your life?
- What has God given you control over in your circumstances? How can you respond creatively to the responsibilities God has ordained for you?
With Love,
Payton

This was perfect! I get bad anxiety thinking the worst of things and it helps to list things I can control, I’ve never written it down but definitely going to!
You rock at these, don’t you stop doing them ❤️
Thanks Amber, that means a lot to me. And thank you for sharing it 🤗🤗
We are in such similar seasons!! I love it!
Thank you Payton! This is so very helpful I am a visual thinker & leaner. Love You Treasured Sister!
So timely to read this again! So funny, I call myself a recovering striver! People pleasing is definitely included in that!
I really needed this reminder this morning!! I’m going to write this out as my peace is beinging wrecked this morning by things that are totally out of my circle!! Thank you so much for this! ❤️
Dear Sweet Payton, Aliene just introduced this in the Boundaries study, Lesson 4, in which I am currently participating. How very innovative, helpful and timely! Thank you for this wonderful tool to process challenges!