I didn’t feel like going.
My husband, Ryan, suggested we serve at an impactful church event we had attended prior. After a long work week I was tired. We were new to this church and hardly knew anyone. But this was witnessing a miracle in itself– that Ryan Dean wanted to volunteer at a church function, so I agreed in support of him.
Immediately as I walked into the church doors, I heard in my mind, “You don’t belong here.” I looked around at all the unfamiliar people confidently taking charge of their assigned tasks while happily visiting with one another. I contemplated leaving quietly. Nobody would even notice- and I’m just in the way, I thought. But then Ryan walked in. I couldn’t leave now. Besides, I had signed up for the intercessory team (praying behind the scenes), so I could still be comfortably invisible. How bad could it be? So I stayed.
When I met with my little team, it was evident that the other people had done this intercessor thing before, while I think I just learned what that word meant in this setting. The team leader began to instruct on what we should do if various situations (beyond my level of my spiritual experience) arise which further intimidated me. I thought I just signed up to pray silently in the back of the room?!! What had I gotten myself into. He then instructed us to pray quietly in our “prayer language” (a modern term I learned church people use to describe praying in tongues)… assuming we do that.
My heart sank. I really DON’T belong here, I thought. I’ve never spoken in tongues. These people have spiritually landed on the moon and I haven’t even arrived at the space station…not to mention I wasn’t even convinced all of that was real.
Peggy the Payton
Despite all my years in a Christian school and time in church as an adult, speaking in tongues was never really taught to me. I never took much time to explore it and my experience with it was extremely limited.
When Ryan and I attended the same service we were now serving months prior, the last portion was about speaking in tongues, but I have to confess: We left to go plant bushes in our yard, because, well…eh. It’s sunny outside and not so sure about “all that.”
Then a few years ago at a Christian women’s conference a woman behind me burst into her “prayer language” during a song. I had my reservations about it and honestly found it a little distracting. After worship she asked my name to which I told her, “Payton.” She confidently addressed me as Peggy the rest of the night. I didn’t bother correcting her because I’d never see her again, but.. I thought, “You’re telling me you can hear GOD well enough to speak in a different language but you can’t hear me pronounce my name out loud in English? Yeah, right!”
The only other experience I had with praying in tongues was just before this very conference we were serving at, where the pastor did a special teaching one night on it. He said for anyone who would like to be baptized in the Holy Spirit to come down front, so Ryan and I decided to give it a try along with probably 100 other people. What could it hurt? The pastor prayed for us to receive the gift of tongues. Immediately following the prayer, many people broke out into their languages around us. Some of them sounded experienced, like they’d actually done it before. I tried to make a noise but nothing happened for me, so I stood quietly. A member of the prayer team approached me, trying to encourage and help me. But still, nothing. I couldn’t do it. I felt like I failed. Then, I worried she might feel as if she had failed because I couldn’t do it with her help, either! Ryan and I left empty handed.
Now here I was, serving on the intercessory team with this dude telling me to pray in a prayer language I didn’t have and the feeling of being an outsider here was reinforced. Ugh.
Despite my feelings, I made the best of it, whispering prayers in regular south Georgia dialect as I walked around the room.
Everything Is Changing Now
After finishing what he was assigned to do, Ryan met me at the back of the sanctuary where we stood against a wall as the next message was given. Then, it came time for the attendees to go down front to receive individual prayer, which meant it was time for me to go pray quietly behind their seats. Worship music played through the speakers during this time, and when I decided I was finished praying, I turned around to walk back to my wall space next to Ryan.
On my walk back, I noticed that Ryan was clearly in “worship zone” with his head bowed, nodding side to side, mouth moving in prayer. Aw, that’s real sweet. Really though, do y’all even know what a big deal this was back then? But as I got closer, I noticed he was not saying words. He rocked his back against the wall as he repeatedly muttered, “i-dig-i-dig-i-dig-i-dig-i-dig…”.
Like any good wife, I punched his arm, because it is not nice to make fun of kind church people for praying in tongues.
But he didn’t stop. He didn’t even look up at me. Knock it off already! I thought. I stared at him. Oh my god… He needs medical help! Was he having a seizure? Wait, no. That’s stupid. Earth to nurse Payton! He wouldn’t be standing or speaking syllables if that were it. Bladder and bowel function– still intact! Or as far as I could tell, anyway.
So I hit him again, humiliated that he is really out here making fun of these people in the open. Assertively I said, “WHAT are you DOING?!” Then he paused from his escapade, looking equally surprised as I and sincerely said, “Speaking in tongues, I guess?” and looks away.
Do what? Is he for real? You’re telling me that Ryan Dean… Hold up… Ryan AUSTIN Dean..to be clear.. Is praying in tongues right here in front of people? I’m speechless right now. My regular hard working, daily margarita drinking man that would barely step foot in a church fearing he didn’t know enough or that his shirt wasn’t ironed enough for all the church people, and never spoke to anyone in there.. Was speaking in tongues? In the open? Out loud?
Dear Jesus, who is this and where did you put my husband.
The Spirit hit him.. and I don’t mean the eggnog!
In complete shock, I did as any concerned spouse would do at that moment. I found my one friend I knew in the whole place and demanded a bathroom meeting STAT to gossip about Ryan Dean because I truly cannot believe my eyes or ears! I have questions.
1) What is happening right now? 2)How is RYAN doing this? 3) Have I just first hand witnessed that all this prayer language stuff is real? Because Ryan Dean would never, ever make anything like this up, nor would he pray audibly in public. He’s never even prayed out loud at home! And definitely not in random syllables. 4) Why didn’t he stop the first time I punched his arm?! Did he lose control?
My friend explained that he could have stopped, but he didn’t want to. He was having a monumental moment with the Holy Spirit.
My heart swelled. For years I prayed my husband would have a personal encounter with God that would change his life. In an instant, that prayer was answered– not at a church conference that we were attending to gain anything from, but where we were serving. In my mind, it wasn’t really even supposed to be for us; we were supposed to be there for other people– but God doesn’t play by boundaries that don’t exist.
After the event ended that night, we got into the car together and he sat silently. I asked him how it felt to be personally touched by God like that. Tears came to his eyes as he shared his surprise that God would do anything like that for him.
Miracle of God
“When we get home, you’re praying for me!” I demanded. He laughed, but I was totally serious. I meant he was going to pray for me, out loud. Because after all, NOTHING he might say in English could be as weird as what he just did in there.
That night, he prayed for me. In true Ryan Dean, few worded fashion, he simply said, “Lord, please give Payton her prayer language. Amen.”
The next morning I woke early in excitement of what happened the night before. I thanked God for what he did. But it was bitter sweet. I was so happy Ryan got his prayer language and it was evident to us all that Ryan encountered God in a personal way, but what about me? Part of me thought, “How did he get this before me? After all, I’m the one that actually reads my Bible and spends dedicated time with You everyday, Lord?”
I knew that this gift couldn’t be earned. But did I really believe that? I sensed an impression to go out into the garage where my little sewing corner is located. I previously dedicated it to God as “our little place” where I told Him to have free range to speak to me however he would like, with no limits.
I turned on worship music and started to pray out loud in our little dedicated place. I asked God to give me a prayer language, too. As I began to doubt God would give it to me, I felt prompted by the Holy Spirit to say out loud, “I don’t see why You WOULDN’T…” acknowledging that I do not have to earn it by rule or ritual following; I could have this gift simply because God loves me and freely gives good gifts.
Then, I glanced up to the ceiling corner of the garage and in my imagination, I saw the letters
“A-y-y-a-h” floating. So I took a deep breath, and pronounced that syllable as I assumed it sounded.. “Ah-yah..” and immediately the language followed.
Woah. Tears of joy filled my eyes.. I’d been a believer for years and never experienced this. God’s presence was tangible in my garage at 6 AM as I danced around in my robe uttering the syllables, “ah-yah, yah, yah, yah…ba, ba, ba, ba, ah-yah, yah..”.
Mine did not sound like others’ did that night when we went to the front of the sanctuary, but it was mine, nonetheless! I ran inside and woke Ryan up in excitement to tell him his prayer for me worked. God heard him!
The next morning I came to church to serve with an entirely different attitude. I was telling everyone. One of the leaders, Carrie, encouraged me to look up the syllable I first saw, as she said that she has looked up syllables in the past that she noticed herself repeating and they had meaning.
Y’all. I cannot make this up. I googled it…
In Arabic, ayah means miracle of God.
This word is now displayed in my dedicated sewing area to remind me of this special moment.
To anyone who doubts, I am not here to argue whether or not “the gifts” still exist, although you can guess what I believe after reading this. Nor am I suggesting that Ryan, or anyone else present was praying loudly in the church service or drawing any sort of attention to themselves.
What I can tell you about this prayer language thing is that from the moment Ryan first spoke in tongues, everything changed. He hasn’t been drunk. He hasn’t wanted to do anything to disturb God’s presence in him. I’ve seen him transform in an instant before my very eyes into the spiritual leader of our home and grow exponentially in understanding the Bible, supernaturally enabled to clearly communicate it to others. I’ve witnessed him go from honestly asking, “What’s so great about God?” years ago, to ..after speaking in tongues becoming committed to reaching the lost because he has experienced God’s goodness despite him. I’ve watched his desires go from material riches to spiritual fulfillment.
In my own experience, after praying in tongues I feel more at peace. I have had more encounters through visions, or knowing when God is speaking to me through mental pictures. My confidence has increased to step out in faith and try things I never would have before. It has opened my eyes just how present God really is, and how he really does want to connect personally with everyone. Sometimes, I stop in the middle of praying in the Spirit, and ask God to show me what we’re talking about. Then I see mental pictures– not only for me personally, but of people in my life that I care about- revealing how I can pray for them and encourage them. I generally sense God’s presence more and feel confident that I am praying exactly what God wants for my life and for the lives of people I love, knowing He will certainly respond to His own word.
Isaiah 55:11 NLT
It is the same with My word. I send it out, and it always produces fruit. It will accomplish all I want it to, and it will prosper everywhere I send it.
That’s the story. If you’ve never prayed in tongues, consider asking God for this spiritual super power– to pray the perfect will of God while receiving empowerment to live it out.
Feel free to comment with your own “prayer language” story – I’d love to hear it with all the details of how God changed your life.
God,
Thank you for this reader. Be assertive with truth in their lives today, making your presence known. Encounter them in a personal way that will change their life forever. Speak to their skepticisms of you, encouraging them to fully receive what you have for them. Fill them with peace and empower them to be who you designed them to be so that people around them come to know you, too. Jesus, thank you for your sacrifice for us and for being the way and the light of all mankind. Amen.
Payton Dean