The Vine

At the beginning of March 2020, God led me to Psalm 127. Verse 1 reads,

“Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain.”

How in the world does this apply to me? I thought. 

    I notice as I get “older” what really matters, so I try to plan my family’s day around my strongest values.

     Among my growing list of treasures is teaching my kids about God and attempting to demonstrate what it looks like to have authentic relationship with Him. During 2020 fear ushered in and startled me with a dose of our world’s harsh realities but also gave me specific vision on the importance of pouring into my children at home and not just leaving spiritual teaching up to the church. 

     But how? How do you pick what to teach… and how do you teach it?

     So I searched. And searched. And searched for the perfect resources!  I’m a girl that enjoys instructions or at least an outline. But nothing I bought gave me satisfaction. So I began making my own Bible studies. (Lots of trial and error involved!)

       Somewhere along the way in 2020, I let this good intention turn into my main focus.  Not only that, but I let fear fuel my motivation. I let fear of failing to complete God’s agenda as a mother teaching her children the gospel drive me. I let fear of my kids needs not being met drive me. I let fear of the future world drive me. And I got sort of crazy, having panic attacks. During the summer months, I worked frantically toward figuring out what God wanted me to teach my kids, afraid they might not be prepared spiritually for life to come!

I also mistakenly took on the burden of trying to understand and receive the gospel for my children instead of simply presenting it to them and giving God the space to stir in their hearts. 

    How did this fear spiral cease? One day I sat on my couch to have a quiet time of prayer and when I asked “What do you want me to teach them this week?”
I felt that Holy Spirit answered, “I don’t want you to teach them anything.”   What?! I thought surely I had misinterpreted that whisper to my heart. God wouldn’t tell me to not teach my kids about Him, would He? Later in a completely random moment, God whispered again to my heart:

      “What better gift could there be to the people around you than your own heart doused in My love? More than your words said or written, My love and grace passed onto others through your heart being connected with Mine can leave its lasting imprint and effect when there isn’t time or place for words written or planned to be spoken.”

     I had failed to nurture my personal relationship with God. How could I have tended to my children’s hearts without listening to the Creator that gave it to them? How could I teach them that God provides when I was frantically trying to take control of what wasn’t in my hands? That does them no good. Hello, Psalm 127! How could I teach the kids that God’s Spirit breeds peace when I was fueling myself with fear? How would I bear fruit of showing God’s love if I wasn’t connected to the Vine from where rich love flows?

     No wonder I had such trouble finding good resources to teach with. God was still waiting for me to return to Him myself before answering that question.

       So instead of teaching anything for a little while I actually started memorizing the scripture I planned on proposing to my kids, for myself. It turns out that God gave me some practical ideas just through that!

      Still to this day when I begin to sense the overwhelm, I stop and pump my arms in the air like a crazy person saying out loud “I’m casting ______ onto You, for you care for me.”  And I’m teaching my kids to do the same.       (1 Peter 5:7)

John 15 “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2 He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. 3 You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 4 Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. 5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned.7 If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.8 This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.9 “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10 If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. 11 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.”