When I Can’t Get Good Enough For God

^{God, may You give power to these words.}

^{Help us believe You.}

For most of my life, I knew that Jesus loved me, but it seemed His delight in me was always just out of reach. 

Out of duty, I tried to share God’s love with others, trying to convince them of something I was honestly unfamiliar with myself. Through the filter I’d always viewed Jesus, I understood that His blood was conditional: “Jesus died for you, BUT you still better be on your best behavior so you can be worthy of it!” 

I felt like a failure trying to “get right with God.” I wanted to, but no matter how hard I tried to be obedient, I just didn’t possess the willpower for lasting change. The more I tried to do better, the more I seemed to backslide.

But I really did desire relationship with God, so I hoped to pacify Him with my intentions to do the right things. (After all, God looks at the heart, right?) Somehow, even my intentions didn’t feel sufficient. Good intent sounded great in theory, but then how would I convince other people to join the faith if my behavior was still so out of line? Wasn’t my life supposed to be convincing other people to be on God’s team?

God was no more than another standard used for behavior improvement- An enhancement of my moral code.

Striving to live the straight and narrow left me in cycles of frustration. I’d just give up on living for God, hoping maybe later in life I would be stronger; more capable of obedience.

What exactly I must do to be “right” with God? My heart often wondered. I invite my reader to ask the same. What all would you have to do to feel like He is happy with you?

My conclusions were not wrong:

There is no amount of good things in my power I can do to be good enough to approach God.

There is no amount of bad things I can stop doing to guarantee that God will accept me.

Nothing in Scripture indicates that I can pile up enough good deeds to buffer my bad ones…

But it does indicate that Jesus is enough.

Lovely reader, are you like I was- striving to modify your behavior to earn your way to God? Giving up on God because you can’t seem to make yourself more deserving of Him? Are you feeling defeated because of what all you just can’t do right?

Or are you trusting in Jesus alone to be your enoughness for God?

With my strong religious background, I’d memorized John 3:16. But I want to know: Why did I ever stop there? Verse 17 & beyond clearly explains that Jesus’ agenda was not to bop anyone on the head because they couldn’t follow His rules well enough. His entire agenda was to be the way for access to relationship with God.

Not through me, through Him.

Believing God exists and trusting Jesus to take care of your sin as your access to God are two very different things.

I can’t be right with God by demonstrating good behavior. My intentions to do right won’t bargain with God either. Trusting in Jesus’ finished work is the ONLY way to be right with God.

For those of us who have lots of experience with religion, believing the simple truth that Jesus is enough for us to be in right standing with God might sound a little too simple.

Lord, help our unbelief!

What is so interesting is that John 3 goes on to explain that out of shame, people refuse to come to God for fear of their sin being exposed… and actually by hiding in shame, they end up condemning themselves. Which would be the very thing we’re trying to avoid whenever we do hide..🤦‍♀️

Yet that’s exactly what I understood I should do for permission to approach God: Hide behind building good behavior or pretend God wasn’t there because it felt impossible to please Him.

The more I read John 3, the more I find that perhaps God’s primary agenda is not to improve my behavior or performance.

God’s agenda is simply to love me.

His love is so powerful that it inspires authentic change in behavior over time. It’s an unforced result of accepting and exploring God’s gift of relationship, learning to take active steps to trust Him.   

Friend, you have the right to approach God with boldness when you believe in Jesus’ finished work, not on account of what all you do, but through what He has done for you because He wanted to.

With love,

Payton

Lord,

I’m sorry for the times I’ve accused You of condemning me, when it was me condemning myself by not coming to Your loving embrace. I trust in Your finished work, Jesus, to put me in right standing with God. Thank You for loving me so much that you paid the ultimate sacrifice to have a relationship with me and i don’t have to hide anything from You. Show me Your light and help me to live by the truth, no longer giving shame or fear of being exposed power to keep me from freedom with You.