Worth the Rescue

​ My life was filled with constant excitement and accomplishment, generously celebrated after a hard couple of years past. Along with a sweet little girl, I now had a great career that I had worked hard for. I tied the knot with the man beyond my wildest dreams. We bought a house that I adored decorating. And now, I was expecting!

​But fear lurked in the background of my excitement.

My husband had made his intentions known to me early on. But now, it was time- time for my husband to officially secure his spot as Daddy to my daughter before the new baby was born.

My daughter’s biological father had not been in the picture for quite a while, but I feared that the sleeping bear might be provoked to roar on our happily-ever-after if attention was brought to my husband’s pursuit within our new family unit.

 ​I genuinely felt that my child’s safety, sanity, and all sense of normalcy could be at stake if things didn’t go as planned.

What if everything falls through and my child ends up having to be permanently tied to an unstable environment? I thought. What all would she be exposed to? What if, in the pursuit of her protection, she gets put in harm’s way that wouldn’t have happened if we hadn’t drawn attention to it?

Part of me wished we could just leave things as they were to keep the peace, allowing them to have the daddy-daughter relationship without having to stir anything up to get the official label. But that wouldn’t legally protect my girl if anything unfortunate, such as my death, occurred in the future. 

 What about my husband? It could be risky for him. What if this caused him to be targeted or taunted in some way? What types of consequences could he face for this good intention if everything didn’t work out?

I’m not sure that putting families together is ever really “easy”. And it wasn’t always certain that everyone could be supportive of the process in a healthy way.

So quietly we took all the steps, sharing our journey with few.

My husband confidently pursued the process, untouched by my fears.

In his eyes, my girl was worth the risk.

And in my eyes, she was worth the rescue.

Despite anyone else’s caution or apprehension in how to approach their relationship, he was unbridled in being the dad he knew she deserved, whether he held the legal title or not.

God has impressed on me a beautiful picture. Being well familiar, it spoke my language:

It was always My intention to be your Dad.

-God

Ephesians 1:5

Ephesians 1: 4-6

Even before He made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in His eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into His own family by bringing us to Himself through Jesus Christ. This is what He wanted to do, and it gave Him great pleasure. So we praise God for the glorious grace He has poured out on us who belong to His dear Son.

I read that over & over for a week straight.

Before I had a chance to convince God to want me, He already did.

And after I’d progressed to giving Him valid reason in real time to keep me at an arm’s length, my rotten parts remained powerless against His love.

Nothing could convince Him that I wasn’t worth going after.

The day I officially accepted my spot as God’s daughter brought Him pleasure because…

 That day, He got something He’d always wanted.

And it is my belief that He never stopped celebrating.

It is as if my place in the Family was always secure.

In His eyes, I was worth the rescue.

While I am puzzled at the idea that I should be celebrated, I will relish that His love doesn’t pursue based on my logic, nor does it need another’s permission.

At the time I am writing this, my little family celebrates 5 years since my daughter’s adoption. It was five years ago that we obtained observable evidence that God had been working on our behalf all along to unite our family as one!

He has showered His kindness on us….

It means so much that you have taken the time to read what I’ve written. My prayer is that the reader personally experiences God’s unfailing love.

Sincerely,

Payton Dean